how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
