So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
