I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
home. puking in laundry basket.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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