I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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