I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
