they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
3 2 1 whiskey
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
