..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
