We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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