If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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