i jhust puked up my retainher.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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