did you get engaged???
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
