She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
