I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
