We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
