What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
