oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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