Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
