He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
