Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
