I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
