My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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