i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
