I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
