I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
