Even the bartender felt bad for me
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
