So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
