I'm going to jail i love you
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
