Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
