question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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