You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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