its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
