The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize