Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You are the jesus of drinking
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize