i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
