I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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