I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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