best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize