i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
