I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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