After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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