You can't motorboat a personality
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
