I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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