the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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