Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
