Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
