Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
