that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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