It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize