i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
