do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
