let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
