I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i've created a new STD.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
