i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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