please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
