So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Randomize
