there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Randomize
