Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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