ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
