I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
one two three fourrrrnication!
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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