also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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