Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
